By Chris Morrison

10th February 2020

It’s going to be a tough race for eco crackpot of the year but already we have some outstanding idiots warming up in the paddock. Making early showing is the leader of Warwick District Council Andrew Day who is sticking local council tax payers for an extra £50 a year to produce “real impact on the climate in the Warwick district”.

The decision will probably be reversed in May in a referendum. In the meantime it might be asked if there are not any flower beds in local parks that need planting to keep this halfwit busy?

But Day will likely fade. What’s £50 when our next runner wants the human race to go extinct? Anglia Ruskin university professor Patricia MacCormack believes that mankind is already enslaved to the point of “zombiedom” by capitalism and “phasing out reproduction is the only way to repair the damage done to the world”. In her new book called “The Ahuman Manifesto”, she suggests that everyone is OK with her ideas “until they’re told they’d have to act on it”.

Obviously the solution is clear.

We have a “climate emergency”. Now we must declare a “nookie emergency”.

But again Professor MacNutty could fade with unfavourable comparisons to the Clem University stable where philosophy professor Todd May ran well a year ago by asking “if human extinction would be a tragedy?” He thought it might be a good thing “for those of us who are currently here to end our lives in order to prevent further animal suffering”. This policy he noted would cause “significant suffering” among those who have much to lose by dying.

Class, pure class.

Of course no eco nutters race would be complete without Extinction Rebellion – whackjobs of distinction for the middle class climate wankerati.

Where to start? XR co-founder Simon Bramwell recently called for civilisation to be “taken down” as part of the group’s fight against climate change. Civilisation is displaying every sign of collapse because we have become separated from nature. In his view we have to “shepherd ourselves and incoming generations back into a state of wilding as it were, into like a feral consciousness that is also one of the biggest tasks remaining to us”.

Whatever the age, this hatred of humankind is common.

The “end is nigh”, mankind is wicked, the original sin can never be forgotten. Meanwhile in the real world, every other species lives by exploiting natural resources whether plant or other species. Humans are no different. We are the top controlling species because in a relatively short period we have used superior intelligence to fashion nature to provide a more comfortable environment for survival. The idea that we should depart the Earth so that other species can take over is for the birds. But if, or when we leave – as 99.9% of all Earth’s species have in the past – the next top dog will behave in exactly the same way.

The idea that human activity such as burning dead plant matter to release CO2 is somehow unnatural is bizarre. Who stands in judgement on our behaviour? And of course the answer is other humans using the false science of human-caused warming to raise political vehicles to control every aspect of society and people – and their numbers.

Recent BBC “green original” Jacques Cousteau went around the world making wonderful wildlife documentaries but ended up claiming we needed to “eliminate 350,000 people a day to stabilise world population”. He also asked if we should eliminate suffering diseases, adding: “the idea is beautiful but perhaps not a beneficial one for the long term”. Prince Phillip once speculated about returning to Earth as a deadly virus to reduce the human population.

It is easy to mock calls for mass human extermination in the interests of saving a pristine planet. But the subtext of rigid and unbending population control informs almost everything that is said by the child prophet and the neo Malthusian Sir David Attenborough. UN advisor and high level think tank the Club of Rome states that the common enemy of humanity is man.

“In searching for a new enemy to unite us, we came up with the idea that pollution, the threat of global warming, water shortages, famine and the like would fit the bill. All these dangers are caused by human intervention, and it is only through changed attitudes and behaviour that they can be overcome. The real enemy then, is humanity itself”.

Meanwhile back on Planet Earth, world poverty continues to fall, gentle natural warming over the last 200 years has led to explosive plant and species growth, we produce almost enough food to feed ourselves, for the first time in its history China can feed its huge population, in the developed world the air we breathe and the water we drink has never been cleaner, cities cover barely 2% of the land but give birth to countless innovations, social and cultural attractions, we live longer, healthier lives in conditions of comfort that would have been inconceivable to 99.9% of people who have ever lived.

Cancel the nookie emergency, treble humans all round.

Follow Chris on twitter @CMorrisonEsq