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SPOT THE LOONEY!

SPOT THE LOONEY!
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By Tony Morrison – our US correspondent

February 5th 2020

It was not a good day deep in the bowels of Congress on the day the Senate had voted not to call for any additional witnesses.  Nancy Pelosi had a hunch the Impeachment was not exactly going to go well, but she had not prepared herself for utter disaster.

SPOT THE LOONEY!

The Senate vote had shown that she was defeated and the Senate would acquit in a few days. Meanwhile, Trump would show up to the House on Tuesday, strutting around with his State Of The Union address daring to boast just because everything (economy, trade, jobs, terrorist-killing, etc.) was great in the Union.

Going in to the Impeachment she understood that there was no hope that Trump would be found guilty of anything as the case was so laughably weak and partisan.  But the hope was there to hammer away, all Press organs blaring, on Trump and any Republican Senators up for re-election in November.  The reverse had happened of course, as American people delivered their verdict on the charade by politely ignoring it.

The ratings had been just appalling. 11 Million on the first day were half that of the Kavanaugh Appointment, and 50% less than the Mueller Hearing, the last great televised stands of the Democrats in the Age Of Trump.  Then they had dropped 20% every day the Dem Impeachment managers presented their case.  This was “Doctor Who’s A Woman Now” territory.  And what was even worse was Fox News had the most viewers of the first week with an average of 4 Million a day.  So most of the folks watching were just getting their hate on Schiff, Nadler et al.

And the Senators who were forced to watch the nonsense were rebelling. Dianne Feinstein left early on only the second day, despite the threat of jail by the Senate Serjeant At Arms for those who did. Elizabeth Warren was playing Hangman.  Mark Warner and Bernie Sanders were asleep. “And those were just the Democrats,” thought Pelosi bitterly.

Meanwhile the Republicans were merrily trolling. Marco Rubio bought a quill pen and used it to take notes every time the Impeachment guys mentioned the Founding Fathers. Pelosi had been very specific with all the Dems, the media and the Impeachment Managers that the Founding Fathers and the Framers Of The Constitution had to be cited with solemnity and reverence during the Impeachment as the deplorables and the rubes seemed to like them. After the trial there would be plenty of time to revert back to sneering at them as the awful white patriarchy. And here was Rubio taking the piss.

All the usual Dem gambits had all been tried. Last minute evidence and witnesses were leaked as usual (courtesy of John Bolton’s cranky book), but had proved a damp squib. The media shrieked hourly about the iron-clad case of the noble Dems and the awful behaviour of the Republicans (how dare they defend a guilty President!). All forces of the left were united in their decrying of the President who now was  going to be “not really acquitted” because the Senate was going to do it (the body that the Constitution dictates try a President impeached by the House). Again, all epic fails.

The worst, though, was the betrayal by her own party. The Media had, as usual, been instructed to state they had heard from many Republicans that they were thinking of breaking with the overall Republican majority and convict Trump. This was the usual Media gambit to report something in a bid to make it happen.  Soft squishy “Republican” senators like Romney and Murkowski can of course be swayed by reading favourable views of themselves and their impeccable judgment in the morning papers.  But not only did the Republicans stand firm, three Dem Senators have signaled they may well join the Republicans in making it another bipartisan vote (just as with the House) in favour of the President. Somehow the titans of journalism had missed the stark fact, obvious to anyone in the US with the slightest knowledge of politics, that Dem senators like Sinema (AZ) could well vote for the President’s innocence as they represent constituents who are mostly in favor of it.

When the going gets tough of course, the Pelosis get going.  Pretty much all of the Dem playbook had been used and found wanting, but surely there was something that would destroy Trump’s chances of winning in November? Rapist, Misogynist, Dictator; none had worked.  What else?  “Maybe this Coronavirus,” she thought, “and Trump could be responsible!”  But then she realized that this was just crazy talk. The word crazy, though, triggered another thought in her mind – the strange psychiatrist academic who had turned up at the House a couple of years back giving testimony on how Trump was a crazed maniac and should be relieved of his duties by declaring him incapacitated according to Amendment 25 of the Constitution.

SPOT THE LOONEY!

Dr. Bandy X. Lee had also organized conferences and written a book on how Trump’s mental state presented a serious threat to the common weal, and Pelosi et al were duty bound to seek an involuntary evaluation as he was a danger to the public health.  She believes this due to her theory that a diagnosis on anyone could be accomplished by watching them on TV or following them on Twitter.  This is in direct opposition to the APA (American Psychiatrist Association) who believe that psychiatry required diagnostic procedures that were a little more robust than claiming any candidate who beat Hillary Clinton was a de facto Looney.

In fact the Association believes it not just bad diagnostically speaking, but actually unethical to do what Dr. Lee suggests.  Back in the 1960s the Dems had done precisely this when slitting up Barry Goldwater a treat to get LBJ the Presidency.  And the APA had actually then declared a “Goldwater Rule” specifying in no uncertain terms that their whole racket, er sorry, their profession, would be invalidated if anyone did this again.  “But that was then and this is now,” thought Pelosi, “I mean that was when we were primitive enough to think there were only two genders instead of a hundred.  Science changes.”

Pelosi called Dr. Lee and instructed her to come immediately to her lair and bring as much remote diagnostic material (watching TV) on what Pelosi euphemistically called “wackjob politicians.”  She had to talk in code as that weird dude, Eric Ciaramella, was always hanging about listening to folks’ conversations.

SPOT THE LOONEY!

Pelosi:  Doctor Lee, come in, a pleasure.  Have you bought the material?

Lee:  Yes, right here in this notebook!

Pelosi:  So what have you got?

Lee:  (reading) The subject represents a classic case of paranoid personality disorder.  He believes that not only everyone is plotting against him, but entire countries are as well.  He thinks Russia will invade the US and is only held back from this right now by massive aid given to Ukraine…..

Pelosi:  Well that’s pretty mental, but it doesn’t sound like Trump.

Lee:  It’s not Trump. It’s that guy on TV for the last two weeks – Adam Schiff. What is he doing out and about without large men nearby with restraints?

Pelosi:  Quite so, quite so.  Moving on. What else do you have?

Lee:  (flips page)  The subject shows inappropriate behavior at all times – like grabbing folks and sniffing their hair.  He is either too friendly, especially with women, and remarkably combative (mostly with men when he grabs them and yells at them not to vote for him).  He has memory lapses and can hardly get a sentence out with mangling his words and thoughts.  He is certainly bipolar, but this is complicated by the fact he is suffering from some advanced form of dementia.

Pelosi:  That’s Trump to a T.  Well done, Doctor!

Lee:  Er, that’s not Trump, either.

Pelosi:  What?

Lee:  It’s Joe Biden. I’ve been watching him on the campaign trail.

Pelosi:  You idiot!  I just want to hear about Trump!  Hey, what are you doing?

Lee:  Writing up some notes.

Pelosi:  May I have a look?

Lee:  No, they’re confidential patient ….

Pelosi:  (Ripping the notes from her hands) Give them here.  Let’s see what else you’ve got.  (Reads)  “Report on subject, NP.  A serious case.  A power-crazed sociopath, she seems to have no relation with reality at all.  I would advise immediate involuntary commitment of Nancy Pelosi to a mental health facility, preferably one with padded cells….”

Get Out!!

After Dr. Lee exited quickly (stage left, as always) Pelosi leaned back in her chair staring into space and thinking.  Then she picked up the phone and dialled Rosa DeLauro, Dem Head of the Appropriations Health Committee.

“Tell me about this Coronavirus…”

SPOT THE LOONEY!

Epilogue 

Meanwhile, in Connecticut an actual real-life Looney is stalking the land.  Martin Looney is Democratic President Pro Tempore (chief leader) of the Connecticut Senate, thinks political extremism is a serious problem and knows how to deal with the threat.

The dangers from political extremism these days are mostly coming from far-left extremists such as Antifa (Radical Islamists have been quiet since the smashing of ISIS).  These are guys in masks, black uniforms and Fascist symbols who love to crack heads with bike locks and baseball bats.  The guys whose organization was recently labeled a domestic terrorist group by the Department Of Homeland Security.  And the gang to whom Connecticut commuters were introduced to once again last Friday when 500 of them rioted in New York’s Grand Central Station during Rush Hour.

SPOT THE LOONEY!

Looney and his fellow Dems, however, announced plans this week to set up a State Police Department to investigate not the rampaging loons of the Left, but rather “far right” extremist groups and individuals.  No-one in Connecticut knows any “far right” extremists and no-one can even name their organisations.  Even the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks right-wing “extremist” groups (defined by them as all groups to the right of the Progressive wing of the Democrat Party), has no record of any.  But we will have a police department to keep tabs on the nothing, while Antifa merrily plans more skull cracking outrages.

Cynics believe that Looney is deliberately trying to smear anything considered remotely “right-wing” ahead of the Federal and State elections in November by pretending they are riotous violent types like well, Antifa.

Or it could just be a case of Looney does as Looney is. 

Difficult to tell with the Dems these days.

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SPOT THE LOONEY!
Tony Morrison

Tony Morrison is a retired IT business executive. Born in London, England, he has been a US citizen for forty years. Although he resides in darkest blue state Connecticut, he believes decisions made by many free individuals are infinitely preferable to dictatorial ones made by the few.

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