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HAPPY THANKSGIVING, TURKEYS!

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING, TURKEYS!

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By Tony Morrison

Our US correspondent

Thanksgiving is one of the two uniquely seminal American holidays (the other being July Fourth), where Americans gather to spend time with friends and families, eat a traditional meal (think Christmas dinner with turkey, but without the roast potatoes, sprouts and bread sauce) and watch sports (this time of the year its Football –  the one you play with your hands).  Above all, the particular Thanksgiving tradition is to acknowledge and think about for what you should be thankful. Being Americans this can take quite a bit of time and so we need a whole day.

This year Thanksgiving itself is to be heartily thanked as it came just in time for the total borefest that is Impeachment to come to a grinding halt as there is only so much of a farrago of hearsay evidence, assumptions and bureaucrat-speak that the American public can take.  But the two weeks of impeachment hearings were given life support by massive transfusions of excitement by the media. Each day we had so much news of bombshells exploding that you would have thought they were talking again about the destruction of the ISIS caliphate.  Actually, belay that, the media of course never really reported the defeat of ISIS as it was waged by He Who Must Not Be Named (if anything good happens).

The bombshells of course were not supported by any evidence at all, but the Dems in Congress and the media thought otherwise and unloaded the mother of all rhetoric on the Impeachee.  “It is hard to imagine a more corrupt course of conduct!” “This is how a mafia boss talks!” “The most profound violation of the presidential oath of office!”  “Worse than Nixon!”  Surprisingly, the last effusion, from Nancy Pelosi, was a bit of a step-up for Trump in the estimation of Dems, Libs and the media, as Trump is usually referred to as “Worse than Hitler!”

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, TURKEYS!

Also surprisingly, the Dems in Congress are religiously following the Congressional calendar and shutting down for the Thanksgiving holiday.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, TURKEYS!

Most working folks in this country get one day off for Thanksgiving and sometimes two as Thanksgiving always falls on a Thursday.  But this is Congress and so they get eleven days off.  The worst constitutional crisis in American history caused by a rogue American president intent on all kinds of malfeasance (so heinous we do not even know what they are) with a foreign power and ….. they put their feet up for a couple of weeks?  It’s as if they don’t really believe what they are saying.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, TURKEYS!Neither did the media really.  The day after the hearings concluded on November 21st, it was as if a light switch was thrown on the whole nonsense.  The articles dried up and the TV and streaming channels moved on to more serious topics, except for the outliers at CNN and MSNBC.

The most curious incident was the dog who did nothing in the night-time.  Or to put it another way, the relative paucity of polls.  Polls have become the staple of US news over the last few years.  They are easy to fake, through phrasing the question and choosing the make-up of those polled, and so don’t require much work if you are running a narrative as opposed to doing journalism.  But if your polls show that impeachment support is dropping despite being from a polled group of 100% Bernie Bros and the tribe of Elizabeth, then maybe you might not release this as it so obviously destroys a narrative.  The one that has seen daylight, from Emerson College, one of the more respected pollsters, shows that impeachment support dropped five points over the course of the hearings, with the support from independent voters cratering at a 15 point loss.  It has yet to be referenced by liberal media outlets.

Most of us are looking forward to the holiday as it is the most joyous and heartwarming of the year.  Not least is Trump himself.  The iconoclastic Trump has trashed most of our obsolete traditions, such as Presidential Press Conferences, the White House Correspondents Dinner and the annual rite of honoring Bruce Springsteen, but he is down with the Thanksgiving Presidential Turkey Pardon.

This year two turkeys, Bread and Butter, were sent to Trump for the official White House turkey pardon celebration!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, TURKEYS!

Being Trump he could not resist delighting the American people by giving a bit of a slap to his opponents.  Last year he wisecracked that even though the turkeys may have been pardoned they should expect subpoenas from the Democrats.  This year he really let loose: “The turkeys were raised to remain calm under any condition, which will be very important because they have already received subpoenas to appear in Adam Schiff’s basement.” Then looking at the turkeys he said: “Unlike previous witnesses, you and I have actually met. It’s very unusual.”

It’s not all fun and games and joy, however.  Thanksgiving is under attack from large swathes of the usual Leftie malcontents.  And this attack comes from two different standpoints.

First up are the gang of those who have yet to come across an American holiday that they did not despise.  A great example is provided by Robert Jensen, the author of a tome called Confronting Race, Racism and White Privilege.  Don’t get him started on Thanksgiving.  “One indication of moral progress in the United States would be the replacement of Thanksgiving Day and its self-indulgent family feasting with a National Day of Atonement accompanied by a self-reflective collective fasting.  Simply put: Thanksgiving is the day when the dominant white culture (and, sadly, most of the rest of the non-white but non-indigenous population) celebrates the beginning of a genocide that was, in fact, blessed by the men we hold up as our heroic founding fathers….”  In addition to being a whole lot of fun at parties, Jensen is actually a Professor at the University Of Austin, Texas.

Jensen and his ilk believe in the ahistorical myth of the childlike noble savage where peaceful unsophisticated American Indian tribes lived in harmony with each other and the environment, until the awful Puritans ruined the idyll with their silly hats and muskets.  He does not seem to understand that the Puritans and the American Indians were all human beings, pretty much the same except for the differing cultures.  And human beings have a habit of being very nasty to each other.  The New England tribes were constantly at war with each other long before any European arrived.  The most well-known of them was the very sophisticated Iroquois, actually a highly civilized federation of five tribes. The five tribes used to beat the crap out of each other, until they realized they could unite and give the Algonquins and the Hurons a bit of the old ultra-violence instead.

Jensen also does not understand that the genocide of the American Indians was due to the arrival of European diseases in the 16th century like smallpox, which wiped out 90% of the entire North American population. When the Puritans arrived in the 17th century they bought their own diseases, such as leptospirosis, into a rapidly-emptying land.

The treatment of the American Indians left was one of the greatest tragedies of the American Experience.  But Thanksgiving is based on the (mostly) true story of the Wampanaog tribe helping the Puritans when they first arrived in Massachusetts by showing them how to plant crops.  The holiday of today is based on a Thanksgiving feast after the first harvest where the Wampanaog bought gifts of food to add to the Puritans’ harvest. Cooperation, giving thanks and delightful foods are a much better foundation for a truly American holiday than one based on bashing whitey.

The first attack has not had much of an impact as yet as the Loony Left is focusing their ire right now on statues of Columbus.  It’s coming, though.  My children all celebrated Thanksgiving at schools and at home by wearing Puritan hats and American Indian feathers, and all manner of turkey decorations.  My grandchild did the same this week at his daycare. The turkeys, pilgrim hats, lavish foods, pumpkins decorations were all there – but no American Indians and feathers.  Can’t risk any kind of historical re-enactment as it might be taken for “cultural appropriation.”  The strategy seems clear.  First disappear the American Indians, then get rid of the Puritans for being white racists, and then finally the turkeys, as we are all vegans now.

The other attack is a little more sinister, but again grounded in the total inability of the weirder parts of Left to enjoy themselves in any way.  Over the last twenty years it has become an axiom of faith among these folks that the best way to engage with Conservatives is by ruining Thanksgiving dinner.  The usual articles, blogs and social media posts are all out there again this year giving tips on how to talk to any relative at the table not a member of Antifa.

This year the suggested topic du jour when tucking into a turkey leg, is Impeachment!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, TURKEYS!

Articles in WaPo, the NYT and the Atlantic have been brimful of suggestions this week on how to bring this stuff up in a way that will make these right-wing bozos see sense.

WaPo took the prize this year in an “article” entitled “A Turkey On The Table And An Elephant In The Room. The elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party, so we know before reading we are going to have to yell and stamp our feet at half the population. It also took three millennials to write such as this:

“Thanksgiving is not the time or place to confront your racist grandma or your drunk uncle.  But that was before the most shocking upset in the history of US presidential elections took place sixteen days before Thanksgiving.”

The characterizing of the more conservative members of your family as racist, elderly and drunk is a nice touch, as is the argument that if an election takes place with a result you don’t like, you are fully entitled to take it out on your relatives at the dinner table as if you were five years old again.

We are used to the Left seeking aggressive confrontations at all time; after all they are the folks who constantly bang on about deplorables and low information flyover state voters.  Unfortunately, we are also getting used to how much elements of the Left despise the essential building block of our civilization, the Family.  But we understand very well that those who have an agenda bent on destroying much of that civilization will focus on first starting with the building blocks.

Thanksgiving endures despite all the nonsense, as all cultures need the warmth and security of their traditions.  And it started well this year.  The wind was kind enough to let the monster balloons fly at the Macy’s Day Parade through Manhattan.  The Washington Redskins Football team are not playing on Thanksgiving Day this year, so we are spared any mutterings about cultural appropriation.  And Trump did his bit for the festivities by tweeting out a photoshop of himself as Rocky Balboa.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, TURKEYS!

Every day is another exciting adventure on the Trump train, but one hopes this does not start a new Thanksgiving Day tradition.

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David Vance

David Vance used to be disgusted but now he tries to be amused! Editor of BiasedBBC.org and ATangledWeb.org, he has appeared on all forms of legacy media but has had enough of that! In the battle for truth and liberty, he prefers the front line. Join our fight back here on AltNewsMedia and subscribe to the platform.

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